The social network for parents of kids with autism

Having a child with autism can put stress on a marriage. Ask veteran autism parents, “What do you wish you knew then that you know now?” and many say that they wish they’d spent more time maintaining their relationships with their significant others before the relationships fell apart.

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Here are 7 quick tips shared by parents on MyAutismTeam for “keeping the romance alive”.  These are all from parents who have children on the autism spectrum.


  1. Date nights are critical so Plan Ahead

    Take the time to line up respite care or a sitter at the beginning of each month to make sure you get out.  No planning ahead usually means no date. (See below for more on finding autism-friendly respite care and sitters)

    My husband makes it a point for us to have date night at least 2x a month to just be us. Sometimes we only go out for pie and coffee, its not much but it makes me feel like a million bucks.

  2. The Weekday Lunch Date

    My husband and I have a weekly lunch date while my son is at school.  It’s great because we don’t need to get a sitter, we have time to talk to each other about adult things, and we are not falling asleep! :)

  3. Dedicated Bedtime for Your Child

    Set a fixed bedtime for your child that leaves an hour or two of evening time you can spend together, before you pass out from exhaustion yourself. If your child can’t fall asleep at 8pm, try to build the routine that they still go to their room at that time.

  4. Getting Creative

    Flirting (even by text), and napping when my son naps so that I’m awake when my husband gets home

  5. Non-Autism Talk

    Every week we make sure we have conversations together, and with other adults, that has nothing to do with ASD or our work.

  6. Beware the completely unstructured weekends

    Weekends can be tough. My husband and I typically want to unwind and have no routine, but the lack of routine throws our son for a loop. That leads to way more emotional outbursts and power struggles, making it hard to even think about time together.

  7. Divide & Conquer

    Sometimes the best thing you can do for your marriage is divide and conquer so that Mom gets to time to herself to reclaim her sanity.  A 2009 study showed that Autism Moms have the same levels of chronic stress as do combat soldiers! It’s tough for someone under that much pressure to have anything left to give to a marriage. In some households the Dad is the primary caregiver.  Make sure that person gets some time to recharge!

On Finding Autism-Friendly Sitters and Respite Care

    • Respite care is hard to come by but you may be able to get some hours covered through programs by your state or through your local Easter Seals chapter.
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      Visit the Easter Seals website or search for “Easter Seals” in your city using the MyAutismTeam Provider Directory.

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    • Check out Sittercity.com- MyAutismTeam has negotiated a free trial and a 50% discount for all MyAutismTeam parents on SitterCity.
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      SitterCity.com is a website that makes finding qualified sitters online really easy.  They don’t provide sitters trained in autism, but often you can find sitters who have had experience working with children on the spectrum.  It may just be enough to give you a few hours to yourself.  For more details check out our post on Finding an Autism-Friendly Sitter (and use the link there to get the MyAutismTeam discount).

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  • Use MyAutismTeam to form local autism-friendly babysitting coops.  Join MyAutismTeam and find other parents near you who have children similar to yours and who understand autism.
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    You may be able to arrange something where they can watch your child once a month and you can do the same for them.  The more people are in the group, the more options for sitters.

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Please share your tips on how you keep the romance alive with your significant others!

Recently, several parents on MyAutismTeam were comparing notes on how to find autism-friendly babysitters and one mom mentioned the website Sittercity.com as a potential source. I was intrigued.  We’re always looking for good resources for MyAutismTeam parents but wondered if Sittercity, a website aimed at finding babysitters for the mass market, could be of any use to parents of kids with autism?

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I decided to conduct a little test – be a secret shopper so to speak – and the results (explained below) really surprised me.  It may be a great resource for many of you.  We’ve negotiated a free trial and 50% discount for all MyAutismTeam parents so you can try it out yourself.

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The Test

(You Should Try This if You’re Looking for a Sitter)

    • I did the free trial to post my babysitting job and see if I got any responses.
      (My son doesn’t actually have autism, but I wanted to see if it would work for parents on MyAutismTeam).

      “I’m looking for a caring, female babysitter to take care of my 7 year old boy with autism for a few hours on Saturday nights so that I can go on a date with my wife.”

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The Results
  • Within three days I got 7 enthusiastic responses from local sitters who were interested in taking the job.  Four of the seven women actually had direct experience working with kids on the autism spectrum in the past!  The other three were open to learning and/or had experience working with special needs kids.  I guess with 1 in 88 children being diagnosed, there’s a decent chance you’ll find a sitter who has had some experience with autism.
  • I paid for the one month Sittercity membership (that’ll be $17.50 for you) so that I could get the contact information for all 7 women, call them, interview them, record their numbers for future use, and even hire them.
  • Out of that I had 3 names of sitters I could call at any time going forward! That worked out to about $6 to find a qualified, autism-friendly sitter.  Well worth it.
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Note: I ended up doing this again for my own kids (who are not on the spectrum) and found Jenna, a sitter we’ve worked with several times since then. The beauty of this deal is once you’ve found a sitter you like, you never have to pay SitterCity again! I just booked Jenna to sit for us the night of the MyAutismTeam holiday party!

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Not Trained Autism Professionals

Obviously, a sitter you find through this service is not a trained autism professional.  We’re not suggesting that Sittercity will be able to fill that void for you.  But depending on the needs of your child, you may just be able to find someone who can at least give you a chance to:

  • Go on a date with your spouse
  • Attend that office holiday party
  • Go out on New Years
  • Get some time for yourself

If you want to know more about the sitters before hiring them you can actually run a background check on them through Sittercity.

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Test it Out for Free & Please Give Us Feedback

Use this link and you’ll automatically get a MyAutismTeam discount of 50% off should you choose to join Sittercity.  I suggest doing the same test I did.

  • Start with the free trial, post your job, and see if you get any responses you like
  • Pay the $17.50 if you get a good response so that you can interview the sitters.  Make sure you get their phone numbers and email addresses for future use!  You’ll be able to call these sitters up any time you’re in a pinch.
  • Try out a sitter and get some important time for yourself
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Let us know how it goes!  I live in Silicon Valley where adoption of Sittercity is likely higher than in other states, so you may not find the same coverage of sitters that I did.  We want to hear about your experience with this partner.
Email us
with feedback on your experience, or make a comment on this blog.

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The more demand there is for autism-friendly sitters, the more likely it is that sites like SitterCity will work hard to find and prepare sitters for the job. We have the ability at MyAutismTeam to use our strength in numbers to help create the market for services like this!  As part of the partnership, Sittyercity has agreed to share some proceeds with MyAutismTeam each time someone becomes a member – thus helping us keep MyAutismTeam free to parents (and free of ugly ads).

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try for free!

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And Get Some Well Deserved Time for Yourself!

In researching the blog post Special Needs Trusts, Financial Planning & LifeCare Plans – Planning the Future of Your Child with Autism, we spent a good deal of time interviewing two Special Care Planners from Miceli Financial Partners, Nick Homer and Ken Prodger.

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Nick and Ken are based in San Jose, CA and both come highly recommended from other parents on MyAutismTeam.  Both are affiliated with the Mass Mutual Special Care Program, have extensive experience working with families with autism and special needs (one of them is the father of a child with special needs),  and they serve families all through northern California.  As a pilot test of a program that could expand nationally, MyAutismTeam has established a partnership with Miceli Financial Partners that offers full special needs financial planning at a discounted rate for MyAutismTeam parents.  

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Discount Details:
  • If you already have a will in place – Miceli will meet with you in person and do the complete, personalized financial planning, life care plan, letter of intent and special needs trust for a flat $3,000.  That is a discount of $1,000.  Typically the total cost for those services is $4,000.
  • If you need the complete package including a living will, financial planning, life care plan, letter of intent and special needs trust, Miceli will meet with you in person and take care of everything. The discounted price will be $4,000.  That is a savings of $1800. 
  • In addition, Miceli will share a small portion of their fees with MyAutismTeam for each family they serve – helping us keep MyAutismTeam.com a free service for parents of kids with autism.
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Call or Email Them for More Information

Miceli always offers a free consultation – so you shouldn’t be afraid to reach out to them.   They have a dedicated phone line for families with special needs you can call at (408) 487 -1516, leave your contact information and let them know that you were referred by MyAutismTeam.  If you’re not in Northern California, Ken and Nick have said they’d be happy to talk to you and refer you to one of their colleagues closer to where you live.

If you’d like to learn more – call Miceli at (408) 487 -1516.  You can also email them at specialcareplanning@financialguide.com.

Ken Prodger

Ken Prodger is a Certified Financial Planner providing both modular and comprehensive financial planning.  Ken’s area of expertise is financial planning for those families that have individuals with special needs.  His advanced designation (ChSNC) is the only third-party accredited designation for special needs planners.  Ken was the first person in Northern California to receive the designation from the American College and is still only one of a couple in the Bay Area.

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Ken currently is on the Board of Directors for a local non-profit, Parents Helping Parents; an organization helping special needs families in a multitude of areas.  Ken lives in San Jose and has raised a special needs son; he has the firsthand experience of IEP’s, regional centers and service providers.

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As a member of Miceli Financial Partners Special Care Planning Team, Ken has extensive experience with financial planning issues of families that have children with autism.  Ken is a fitness enthusiast and is active in the community and church.

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Nick Homer

Nick Homer is a Financial Advisor and a Special Needs Planner who is a San Jose native, where he resides with his wife.  Nick has been in the financial industry for the last 11 years.   Nick joined Miceli Financial Partners, a comprehensive & holistic planning firm and agency of MassMutual Financial Group, in 2007.   Nick has extensive experience working with families with special needs and is a member of Miceli Financial Partners Special Care Planning Team.

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Nick was instrumental in organizing & bringing Disability Awareness Night to the San Jose Giants and has served on the planning committee for that event for the last 3 years.  This event has provided 10,500+ people the opportunity to enjoy a free baseball game highlighting the awareness of the disabilities throughout the Bay Area.

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Nick also serves on the committee for Disability Awareness Day (DAD) for the City of San Jose.

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In 2012, Nick was asked to serve on the board of directors for Angels on Stage.  Their mission is to provide children with special needs who have abilities of any type and degree, ages 5-22, the opportunity to participate in an annual professional musical theatre production.

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You can reach Ken and Nick at (408) 487 -1516

“What happens to my child if something happens to me?”   In the category of “questions that wake up parents of kids with autism in the middle of the night”, this one ranks way up there.  It is one of the most talked about questions on MyAutismTeam.   It’s a question with very serious implications for your son or daughter, and it’s a subject that most regular financial planners and estate lawyers are neither trained nor qualified to handle.

Why It’s So Important – Your Adult Child Could Lose Their Government Benefits If You Don’t Put a Plan in Place

Case Example: Last year a family in California lost all the social security (SSI) and MediCal benefits they had lined up for their adult son with autism when his grandmother passed away.  Why?  The grandmother very thoughtfully left more than $30,000 in savings bonds to help take care of her grandson – now in his early twenties.  Unfortunately she left those bonds in her grandson’s name.  To qualify for SSI and MediCal benefits, he must have less than $2,000 in assets in his name. When Social Security caught wind of this inheritance, they yanked the young man’s benefits.  Furthermore, there are measures in place making it difficult to re-establish government services once you have been disqualified (this acts as a deterrent to anyone trying to hide assets).  In the end, the family had to spend down the inheritance on services he used to get covered by the government, and then go through a lengthy process to re-establish his government benefits.  The inheritance caused nothing but stress and hassle for the family – with no tangible benefit for the young man with autism.   Now, imagine that the people who died in this story were his parents – and that they had left their assets to him?  Now he would be without his primary caregivers and would likely lose his government benefits.   No one likes to contemplate these scenarios, but a little advance planning can mean a world of difference for your child.

You’re Not the Only One Who Hasn’t Done This

Sadly very few parents of kids with autism have taken the steps to plan for the future.  An Easter Seals study called “Living with Autism” revealed how big, and how unresolved a problem this has become.  The study involved a survey of about 1600 parents of children with autism.  It was funded by Mass Mutual (the insurance company) which has a whole division focused on people with special needs.    A few things in the study jumped out at me:

  1. Only 12% of parents of kids with autism feel their children will be able to one-day handle their day-to-day finances independently
  2. Only 40% of parents had designated a guardian for that child, or had created a will.
  3. 4 out of 5 parents had not created a special needs trust.

Nearly all of the parents found this whole topic confusing and fully 56% of them did not know of any financial professionals who specialize in financial planning and life care plans for families with a special needs child.  There are 500,000 kids with autism in the United States right now who, by the end of the decade, will be adults with autism.  This has the potential to be a very large problem.

Charting a Course for Special Needs Families

As Ron Lieber wrote in his recent piece in the New York Times, it has taken a “growing number of financial advisors and other professionals who themselves have special needs children” to navigate all the regulations and products out there and chart a course of practical steps parents should take to ensure the financial security and care of their children in the future.  I spoke with some of them.  In short there are a few key steps most parents shoult follow:

  1. Have a plan for your own retirement – Hopefully you’ll live a long, great life.  If you don’t plan for your own financial needs during retirement you won’t be able to help out your child.  No – really.  You’ll have less income, your own health care needs and related expenses will increase, and you may not be physically able to do some of the things for your child that you do currently.  So you’ve got to take care of yourself first.
  2. Create a life care plan (it’s more than financial planning)- As noted autism advocate and mother, Shannon Des Roches Rosa, and Special Needs Financial Advisor, Nick Homer, explain in their blog post “When You’re Gone: Practical Planning for Your Child’s Future“, a life care plan is a “flexible roadmap” that covers your vision for how your child will be cared for when you’re gone, how they’ll learn and grow, and the best short and long-term strategies for quality of life in every area including: food, clothing, shelter, health, finances, family life, entertainment, employment, retirement and more.  It includes a letter of intent that instructs the caregivers appointed in your living will (see the next point) how you’d like them to parent your child when you’re gone.  As Nick Homer says, “It’s the personal side to the plan” and it’s something that you update annually as your child’s needs change.
  3. Create a Special Needs Trust to go along with a Living Will – The purpose of a special needs trust is to provide for the ability to transfer assets to your child without interrupting or putting at risk the government benefits that help provide and pay for his or her care.  A special needs trust is a piece of paper that isn’t funded with any of your assets unless you die.  At that point the assets you leave to the trust (including any life insurance proceeds or assets you may have) go directly into the trust.  The assets are then owned by the trust, not by your child.  The trust is administered on your child’s behalf as you instruct in a written plan.   You appoint a person – sometimes it’s the child’s legal guardian, often times it is a separate professional – to administer the trust on the child’s behalf.  Since the assets go into the trust – your child is able to maintain any government benefits he or she receives.  The Living Will explains who takes care of your kids, who watches over the money, how you want to be treated in case you’re put on life support and so on.  It goes along with the Special Needs trust.

Common Myths

  • Special Needs Trusts and financial planning are only for the rich – Wrong.  If your child gets more than $2,000 in their own name, government agencies could seize the assets and cause the guardians of your child to spend down any assets above that amount before providing any other benefits to the child. If you make more than $50,000 per year, own a home, or have any other kind of meaningful assets you will likely benefit from going this route.  If you’re not sure – you can usually get a free consultation for further explanation (more on that below).
  • I’ll outlive my child and be able to take care of them – Sadly, it’s just not likely to happen.  This is less a “myth” than it is wishful thinking on behalf of many big-hearted parents.
  • It’s not worth the money – It does cost money to do all of the things listed above, but the benefit of avoiding probate upon your death could make this amount seem small.  A living will, special needs trust, letter of intent, life care plan, and financial plan all done by an experienced professional, and tailored to your specific needs, will likely run you anywhere from $3,500 to $6,000.   If you live in Northern California you can participate in a pilot partnership in which MyAutismTeam has negotiated a significant discount for parents (see below for more details).  If there is strong interest from many parent on MyAutismTeam we will expand this program nationally.  Either way – any decent special needs financial planner will start with a free consultation so that you can understand your options before committing to spend any money.

Taking Action 

If you’re reading this and saying, “I need to find someone who can help me do this” – you’re right.  It’s complicated, and is likely worth the money to pay for the help from someone who does this every day.  Mass Mutual’s Special Care Planning Team is a good place to start.  They have special needs financial planners and relationships with the types of lawyers who specialize in special needs trusts.  They can work with you to get the whole thing done.

Special Offer for MyAutismTeam Parents in Northern California

If you live in Northern California you can get a special discount on these planning services.   As a pilot test, we’ve negotiated a MyAutismTeam discount with Miceli Financial Partners –  Special Needs Advisors affiliated with Mass Mutual who are based in San Jose, CA and serve Northern California.  See details of the MyAutismTeam discount here.

If you don’t live in Northern California but would like to see similar discounts negotiated on your behalf where you live – please leave a comment below and let us know!

In this guest blog post, Tom Wailgum, father of twin boys on the autism spectrum talks about how he and his wife have adjusted their communications with each other and with their boys to focus on the positive. – Eric

Never Never Never Never Never – by Tom Wailgum

One of the most challenging aspects of raising children on the autism spectrum is conquering the feelings of negativity that pervade everyday life. It can come from friends or family members. From co-workers. From the media. From strangers in the grocery store. From yourself. I know I’ve struggled with overcoming my own negativity while raising our twin sons, who are on the spectrum.

Does any of this sound familiar?

  • “He can’t do that.”
  • “She doesn’t have the skills.”
  • “He’ll never eat that type of food.”
  • “That trip to the mall with him was just awful.”
  • “Why doesn’t she get along well with others? What’s her problem?”
  • “We can’t possibly go there because it’s not safe for us.”
  • “Why can’t you guys be like everyone else?!”

By its very nature, the “Autism Spectrum Disorder” label can be a severe limiter to the children, teens and adults who are assigned and often stigmatized by the branding—and it affects the parents of ASD kiddos as well. Think about it: When someone says you or your child has a “disorder,” it’s clearly not the same connotation as saying they have a “gift” or “special talent.” (It reminds me of the “incompetent cervix” label the doctors affixed to my wife when she was in the hospital with pre-term labor with our sons. Hey, docs, thanks for making her feel a lot better!)

Looking back, the negativism that I have allowed to envelope our boys’ diagnoses even colors how I remember the momentous and positive steps that have occurred in their development. Instead of thinking, I always knew they’d get rid of those diapers, I’d think: I never thought they’d stop relying on diapers. (They have.) I never thought they’d have as many friends as they do. (They’ve got some good buddies.) I never thought I’d see either of my kids willingly board a school bus in the morning. (I see it every weekday morning.) I never thought I’d see them up on stage, standing side by side with their classmates, singing in the annual spring concert. (They kicked ass.)

The author’s twin boys at basketball.

Never Never Never Never Never.

It’s so hard sometimes to exorcise the “nevers” and embrace the “positives” and “possibilities.” Perhaps that’s due to what stage you’re at, as a parent, in dealing with your child. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that you are relentlessly focused on identifying and addressing those deficiencies in their skillsets—and then attempting to overcome them. Or perhaps it’s because autism can feel like a blessing and curse at the same time.

The question, then, is: How do you change your outlook when you feel like you’re mired in so much uncertainty and angst because no one appears to have the answers to the many questions you have, when you’re wrapped up in so much guilt or anxiety, and when you’re unconditional love is continually rejected by your child?

Naturally, you’ve got to find your own way out of this nexus of negativity. It starts small, as things often do when the challenge is great. For example, after each outing with our sons, my wife and I will review how it went. For the longest time, it was easy for me point out all of the examples of where the boys had done something wrong (there’s that negativity again!).

My wife and I have made the move to first talk up all the great and positive aspects of their social interactions, play dates or serendipitous Target shopping trips, and then focus on just one thing that could have been done better the next time. For more than a year, we have followed the Superflex “Superhero Social Thinking” curriculum, created by Stephanie Madrigal and Michelle Garcia Winner, to help the boys become aware of more appropriate social behaviors that we want them to understand and apply. We have done this in conjunction with the boys’ teachers, specialists and administrators at their school, and it has been a critical factor in making the Superflex program even more effective.

As you might expect, sharing a common language with our boys, via the Superflex methodology, has allowed us to fill in those critical communication gaps that have always existed between my wife and I and our boys. It’s been an effective way to decrease negative thoughts and alter the tenor of our conversations, from repetitive, frustrating incidents to enriching, positive experiences. The change has delivered significant results—for them and me.

Tom Wailgum (@twailgum) is the father of twin boys on the spectrum, husband to a beautiful and caring wife and mother, and curious observer and cataloger of all that this life has to offer. He’s writing a book about his family’s experiences with infertility, premature babies and autism.  You can read his story and ask him questions on MyAutismTeam.    

At MyAutismTeam we believe that when your child is diagnosed with autism, it should be easy to find the best people around to help you.  With nearly 30,000 parents of kids with autism registering on MyAutismTeam in just over a year, we’re making it much easier to find and connect with other parents just like you.  Many of you have also told us that you’d like help getting access to other services – including parent education and training.   So we are experimenting with identifying and bringing the best autism workshops for parents to you  – and we are working to get you all a MyAutismTeam group discount to boot.  We’ll be testing this out regionally and looking for your feedback. To start, we’ve negotiated a $50 discount (use code MAT50) on a great parent seminar coming to the SF Bay Area:

  1. Evidence-Based Behavioral Interventions for Autism, Asperger’s, Sensory & ADHD – by John F. Taylor, Ph.D.This one-day workshop will provide you with a comprehensive set of user-friendly strategies you can put to work the same day including:
  • Getting your child to sleep within 20 minutes of bedtime without conflict
  • Reducing distraction and fidgeting in the classroom
  • Redirecting anger and reducing tantrums
  • Improving social skills in public, school and home settings

This seminar will be offered in seven greater Bay Area locations: Santa Rosa (10/9), San Francisco (10/10), Napa (10/11), San Jose (10/12), Modesto (10/17), Oakland (10/18) and Sacramento (10/23)

If you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area, we’ve negotiated a $50 discount for parents from MyAutismTeam who wish to attend. Parents using the following reference code MAT50 will pay $149 for the one day seminar instead of the full price of $199. (Note: Parents will not receive continuing professional education credits).

To register please go to the Summit Education Link and sign up using the code = MAT50.

2. Separately, I’ve been invited to speak at another Bay Area autism conference:

Bay Area Autism & AD/HD Conference – Sunday Oct. 28, Lucie Stern Community Center in Palo Alto

The conference mission is to provide support for parents of children with Autism and AD/HD by focusing on the latest research, treatments and therapies both traditional and alternative.  There will be two simultaneous sessions with 5 speakers. Full details are available at www.baautismoutreach.com

 

If you have ideas for other services you’d like MyAutismTeam negotiate for you – please let us know!

Best,

eric

(Originally posted as a guest blog on Autism Speaks)

Every parent of a child with autism asks themselves, “Am I doing enough to help my child?”  They look to doctors, specialists, and (particularly) other parents with kids just like theirs for ideas and for validation that they are on the right course.  With more therapies out there than there are hours in the week and dollars in the bank account / second mortgage to pursue them, parents are forced to prioritize.  So what are the “best” therapies out there?  Which ones work best for other kids just like yours?  We asked the world’s foremost experts – parents of kids with autism – that very question.   To be specific, we asked the parents on MyAutismTeam.com - a social network for more than 28,000 parents of individuals with autism – the following question: “What therapies, if any, worked best for your child”?   

Here’s an example of what that question and answer looks like in the story of one mother on MyAutismTeam.  

About one-third of the parents on MyAutismTeam have answered this question and more do every day as it is part of the sign-up process.   What’s beautiful about this question is that it is highly personal.  It doesn’t ask, “What are the best therapies for autism?”  Instead, it asks the parent to list the therapies that work best for their child.   What “works best” for one child on the spectrum may not work at all for another child or, in the case of occupational or speech therapy, need to be significantly tailored to the developmental needs of each child.  Still, there is power in seeing how thousands of parents answer this question.  We counted up all the therapies mentioned.  Most parents answer this question by listing one or two therapies.

Here are the therapies parents reported as working best for their children, rank-ordered by percent of mentions and including only those therapies that received at least 1% of mentions:

1. Occupational Therapy – 39%

2. Speech Therapy – 27%

3. ABA Therapy – 15%

4. Social Skills Classes – 8%

Hippotherapy, or equine-assisted occupational therapy, can be therapeutic for many children with sensory processing disorders

5. Hippotherapy (OT through horseback riding) – 2%

6. GFCF Diet – 2%

7. Psychiatrist/Psychologist sessions – 2%

8. (5-way tie, each with 1%): Floor Time, RDI, PECs, Swimming, PRT

Other therapies / keywords listed that got less than 1% of mentions

  • Mainstream schooling – 0.1%
  • iPad – 0.1%
  • Vision therapy, aqua therapy 
  • Vitamin supplements, Chelation, Hyperbaric Chambers – (all combined these last three terms received less than one-tenth of one percent of mentions)

What Does It Mean?

To be clear we are not doing rigorous science here and this is not meant to be comprehensive research but rather a reflection of what about 8,000 parents said worked best for their child.   Here were a few of my take-aways:

  1. Early intervention is working: OT, Speech,  ABA and Social Skills therapy win the mentions tally in a landslide.  Floor Time, RDI, PECs, PRT and equine-assisted OT (horseback riding therapy) also would be included in that group as they are often led by an OT.  The overwhelming majority of parents surveyed said it “worked best” for their child.  Occupational therapists help children on a wide range of developmental topics including sensory processing disorder, motor skill development, social interaction, potty training, sleep training and much more.  To learn more about occupational therapy and a range of other early intervention therapies download the free 100-Day Kit from Autism Speaks and also read through the long list of other tool-kits on more specific topics such as ABA therapy.  In addition you can check out the Autism Treatments page and video glossaryon Autism Speaks for more background on early intervention.

    Autism Speaks free 100 Day Kit explains most therapies available for autism.

  2. Early intervention services tend to be the ones offered to parents by the state and by the public school systems as they are evidence-based therapies.  ABA therapy tends to be one of the only therapies covered by insurance companies in states that mandate insurance companies to cover autism.  Naturally, more parents are going to have tried these services than some alternative therapies not covered by their schools or their insurance.   For instance, many parents rave about hippotherapy on MyAutismTeam, but share that they are unable to continue it for budget reasons.
  3. That said, many parents on MyAutismTeam have tried out everything possible over the years in their quest to help their children.  Of those, only a handful point to expensive or non evidence-based therapies such as chelation or hyperbaric chambers as being the thing that worked “best” for their child.  Many parents report that in terms of bang-for-your buck, sticking with OT and Speech is best.
  4. Just because a therapy isn’t mentioned on this list doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work.  I want to pro-actively address this issue and prevent an onslaught of comments about all the therapies we’ve left off.  This was an “unaided survey” meaning we just asked the question but didn’t offer a multiple choice list of answers.  We let parents answer this question in whatever they wish and have simply counted up and categorized the therapies that came to the top of their mind as being best for their child.

Find Out What Works Best for Your Child

One key thing to remember here is that these answers reflect the broad range of parents on MyAutismTeam with children from all parts of the autism spectrum.  We all know what works for one child on the spectrum may not do anything for another child with different developmental needs.   The question most parents want to answer is, “What therapies work best for kids just like mine.”   One of the best way to get constant, up-to-date answers on that question is to build relationships with other parents of kids like yours.  You can do that for free by joining MyAutismTeam.  You can click on “Find Parents” and search for parents of kids like yours.  Connect with them, learn what is working for them, and share what is working for you.    If you need a recommendation of an occupational therapist, or speech pathologist, you can see which providers other parents near you have on their teams.    There’s a lot of wisdom in the collective experiences of 28,000 parents of kids with autism.   You’re not alone and you don’t have to re-invent the wheel.

Other useful resource for learning about early intervention and autism therapies include The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism and the CDC’s Autism Page.

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